Everybody Wants to Rule Irk
by Taychan
Summary: There's a new Irken in the scene. After 2 days on Earth she gets word that Cinda (heir to be tallest) and her uncles (the tallest) are going to be abliterated. Will Zim, Cinda 7, Dreva, and their SIRs be able to defeat this force?


Everybody wants to rule Irk  
  
By Tak2Taychan (Tannak)  
  
Purple: C'mon think! We need to think of a great enough punishment...  
  
Red: We could hang her.  
  
Purple: Nah, too harsh.  
  
Red: We could burn her at the stake.  
  
Purple: Irk or Conventia doesn't have any wood anymore...  
  
Red: oh, yeah.  
  
Purple: Aha! We could send her in a voot runner flying through space going to absolutely no where and she could just die out there!  
  
Red: No, not harsh enough... I've got it! We could send her in a voot runner flying through space going to absolutely no where and she could just die out there!  
  
Purple: Um... I guess that's a yes...  
  
Red: Great! Glad I thought of it!  
  
(in the chamber room prison thing)  
  
An Irken with blue eyes lay on the floor in a strait jacket. She's wearing jeans and a yellowish shirt with a little black dot in the middle. Her antennae is curly with a few split ends.  
  
Dreva: ... mine... my-... my... my freeeeeeeeeeedom! (Dreva mumbled something)  
  
Dreva started rolling around the room.  
  
She stood up looking at the yellow pillows on the wall.  
  
The door opened.  
  
Purple: It is time...  
  
Just now I remembered Rafiki on the Lion King... heh heh.  
  
Dreva looked up.  
  
Dreva: I'm gonna be freed?  
  
Red: yes...  
  
Dreva: No more rat buddy?  
  
Red: No more rat buddy...  
  
Dreva: No more being a closterfobian?  
  
Red: NO MORE ALREADY!  
  
Purple: Your gonna be free but you are now sentenced to be banned from Conventia.  
  
Dreva: No more eastern island head... (She mumbled to herself)  
  
Purple: What?  
  
Dreva: um... nothing.  
  
Purple and Red walked her to one of the voot runners (they didn't expect it being an Invader/Spy Voot runner)  
  
Purple: Now instead of going to Irk go find some other planet to ... eh (mumbles "terrorize")to... visit...  
  
Dreva: Wow... you would really let me destroy a planet?  
  
Red: Yes- I mean... whatever...  
  
Dreva: But...  
  
Purple: But what?  
  
Dreva: But don't Irkens that leave their home planet supposed to get a robot to come with them?  
  
Purple: Um... Right, there's already one in there.  
  
Dreva had a little look on her face ^_^ like that.  
  
A little robot pops up. It's got 2 antennae with little dark blue paw symbols hanging off the edges, legs with furry stuff on the bottom, triangle-shaped light blue colored shoulders, a short tail, and little feet with a circle in the middle.  
  
(mean while in the voot runner after they walk her there)( and six months later)  
  
Dreva flops over... sleeping...  
  
Computress: Defense mecanism on. Planet ahead.  
  
F.R.I.S.K.: RUFF!  
  
Dreva wakes up: what?  
  
F.R.I.S.K.: RUFF! RUFF! Hoooooooooooowwwlll!!!  
  
Dreva:...now this is useless... a robot that goes ruff ruff and that howls...  
  
FRISK jumps on Dreva.  
  
Dreva: ack!  
  
FRISK starts licking her.  
  
Dreva: eeewwww!!! I haven't even said 15 words to you!... I don't even know you... GET OFF!  
  
FRISK's antennae droops and he starts whimpering and has a cute sad look on his face.  
  
Dreva: oh no not that cute look...  
  
Computress: Planet ahead... Planet ahead... beep beep beep beep be-  
  
Dreva: SHUT UP!... er... turn off the beeper.  
  
Dreva turned away from FRISK trying to ignore him and starts typing something on the voot keyboard while looking at it going faster towards Errrth... I mean Earth.  
  
Dreva: I hope this has a landing key... AAGH! I'M GONNA DIE!  
  
FRISK: ruff! ^-^  
  
Dreva: Ruff? Ruff?! IS THAT ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY?! WE'RE GONNA- hey what's this?  
  
Dreva spots a big blue button that read "Landing"  
  
The voot runner got close enough so that they could see almost half of the USA like Utah or something...  
  
Dreva: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!  
  
Dreva grabs FRISK. Dreva reached for the blue button as the almost rammed into Zim's house. FRISK jumped out of Dreva's arms and steered left to head a different direction without hitting anything... or at least not hitting Zim's house base... thing. FRISK spotted G.I.R. in Zim's front yard.  
  
Dreva ran around flailing her arms and screaming in the voot runner while FRISK steered them to a blank place somewhere in Zim's neighborhood.  
  
Dreva quickly push the blue button almost swetting out water... yes water (she was that nervious)  
  
Dreva was panting while FRISK held out his tongue.  
  
Dreva: am I in heaven?  
  
Dreva looks around...  
  
Dreva: no... wait... yep I'm alive.  
  
FRISK: It seems that we have landed near another one of our kinds' base. If I'm mistaken it should be Zim the terrorizer from your past.  
  
Dreva: Oh, so NOW you talk!  
  
Dreva got a flash back in her head; Zim: PUSH THOSE BUTTONS! TURN THOSE KNOBS! Dreva was in the robot with him because she lost a bet playing an Irken card game. Zim: Maid! Dreva: yes Zim (whispers to herself) doofus. Zim: THAT'S ALMIGHTY ZIM TO YOU! *evilly laughs*  
  
FRISK: ruff!  
  
Dreva sat on the control seat annoyed. She push a button to let them out of the ship. Dreva jumps out of the ship.  
  
Dreva declared: THE SPY HAS LANDED!  
  
Dreva looked at herself then FRISK. Dreva: o yeah disguises...  
  
Dreva turns on a little disguise making machine.  
  
Dreva: Let's see...  
  
FRISK: RUFF! *howls*  
  
Dreva: I think i'll look for you're disguise first.  
  
FRISK: can I be a... I mean- RUFF!  
  
Dreva:... you'll be this thing.  
  
A dog costume appeared on the screen. It resembled a west highland white terrier (not terror) or to put it simply a westie. and it was about GIR's size.  
  
2 purple things that resembled what Zim got his disguise out of sprung out of the ship. Dreva pushes FRISK in between the purple things.  
  
FRISK starts whimpering inside. The purple things let FRISK out.  
  
FRISK (in his costume): RUFF!  
  
Dreva: Now for my costume.  
  
Dreva (while looking for her disguise): ...hm... too skinny(picture of Brittany Spears)... hmmm.... too pale(picture of One of those vampires on queen of the damned)... ew! what was that?!(picture of a giant slug)... hmm... ok this one looks good.  
  
There was a ruselling in the bushes. Dreva and FRISK didn't pay any attention to it... well maybe FRISK did.  
  
The purple things went around Dreva and did the same thing to her as it did to FRISK.  
  
Dreva: AGH! Nooo! Hey, I don't wear contact lenses, I can see- AAAAAHH!  
  
there was a hissing sound after her disguise was finished.  
  
Her disguise wig was dark blue and the hair went down to the middle of her neck. A large bunch of hair hanged. er. to the left of her head. She was wearing the same she did before: black gloves, yellow shirt with a big black dot in the middle, jeans, and boots. No glasses of course.  
  
And well about the house. It was the same thing that Zim did to his house... accept Dreva's is blue instead of green. and instead of lawn knomes there were flamingoes and stepping stones that looked like crocodiles.  
  
(the next day at skool)  
  
Ms. Bitters: Another dirty rat has joined the student body... Do you have any last words before you sit down in the terror chair? rat...  
  
Dreva: um... yes...  
  
Ms. Bitters: Then say those words now because after this moment I don't want to hear another sound EVEN A PENCIL drop sound from you! (Ms. Bitters had a mad looking face)  
  
Dreva: ... OK... Greetings humans, my name is Dreva, I'd just like to tell you all that I'm a harmless little. thing and would dare not hurt anyone unless they injure me first. Got that? (points at them)  
  
The other children in the class stared while Zim was messing with his pencil, and making it float... Dib was swetting and pointing his pencil at her because of the last time when he was sent to detention.  
  
Dreva: Now that this is clear to all of you I will be sitting down now.  
  
Ms. Bitters: NOW SIT!  
  
Dreva sat between the middle of Dib and Cinda.  
  
Dib started glaring at Dreva while Ms. Bitters yapped about how the human race will end because of these little worms that would eat them... ALIVE!  
  
Ms. Bitters:... first they poison you with a horn on top of their head and then suck your blood and...  
  
Dreva raised her hand: Ms. Bitters?  
  
Ms. Bitters: What?  
  
Dreva: This lecture is starting to make me sick because I'm squeemish and the vision of worms sucking blood out of my body makes me wanna vomit. Can I go to the girls bathroom without throwing up in here?  
  
Ms. Bitters: Take the hallpass then you can go...  
  
Dreva walked up to Ms. Bitters' desk, Ms. Bitters gave her a peice of paper on a string that said, "Hall Pass" (and no not literally).  
  
Ms. Bitters: If your not back in an hour you'll be expelled FOREVER!  
  
Dreva almost leaped but was fighting the urge to as she walked out the room. Then she closed the class room door hearing Bitters talking about the worms again. And immidiatly after she walked in front of the girls' bathroom door she leaped and walked into the bathroom. She threw up in the toilet... yes I know it's gross but this happened.  
  
Dreva: blood sucking worms... ack! Those humans! I can't bare to listen to them... And the human male species! I can't bare it!... ok maybe one is cute but I have no interest in them what so ever.  
  
Dreva opened up the stall door while she heard Jessica and her clique giggling.  
  
Dreva: hmm... pitiful human populars...  
  
Jessica: You actually like a boy in Ms. Bitters class? that's pathetic...  
  
Dreva: No. I'll tell you who's pathetic: You stink beast humans are!  
  
Jessica: duh. Your a human too.  
  
Dreva: why am I even talking to someone as low as you?  
  
Jessica: ditto! *does one of those preppy "ugh"s*  
  
Dreva finally left the girls' bathroom. As she turned around the corner Dib slammed her into the wall.  
  
Dib(finally giving in to his urges): Who are you and what are you doing here?!  
  
Dreva: If it's possible please put me down and get back to your classes. now.  
  
Dib: Your hypnosism won't work on me, you alien!  
  
Dreva: am not!  
  
Dib: ANSWER THE QUESTION ALREADY!  
  
Dreva: ok, ok... My name is Dreva and I've come here to destr- I mean to learn what you stink-... to get my- uh- education. heh heh.  
  
Dreva's innocent laugh didn't fool him. Dib, letting her fall off the wall with a big thump, pulled alien hand cuffs out of his pocket.  
  
Dreva: What'd I do wrong? Is it a crime to be an individual  
  
Dib(with an evil grin): No, but it is to be an alien! HAHAHAHA!!! *kind of evilly laughs*  
  
Dreva made a run for it not giving him a chance to catch her. She sharply turned the corner and entered the class room panting. Dreva walked towards Ms. Bitters and gave the teacher her hallpass.  
  
Ms. Bitters: NOW SIT!  
  
Dreva quickly walked to her seat while Dib busted in the door and sat next to her glaring... and holding the hand cuffs below him so that only Dreva could see them.  
  
Ms. Bitters: To keep the new student from being sqeemish, I'll disguss how world war III it will be started by a pillow fight... (she talked about that world war III started...)  
  
Dreva took this moment to look around the room and study the human worm babies... by just looking at them of course. and dared not look at Dib.  
  
She spotted Zim (she didn't really know it was Zim), and thought,"is it my closterfobian ways tricking my mind or is that Zim?"  
  
Dib(thinking): She's probably mind speaking with Zim and Cinda of how they could destroy me and man-kind.  
  
I noticed he mentioned himself before man-kind and I know that's impolite but I don't care.  
  
Dreva(thinking): To bad I can't ask him through mind speak.  
  
Yeah, yeah, bad joke.  
  
Dreva looked at the children behind her and spotted two children passing a peice of paper to one another. The child behind her tapped her on the shoulder.  
  
Allie: This note is for you.  
  
Dreva opened the note and a flower fell out (it was a dandylion if you wanted to know) she read the note:  
  
Dear Dreva, I just wanted to greet the new kid but since Ms. Bitters didn't mention for the class to say "Hi" to you I just wrote in this note: Hi.  
  
Love, Keef  
  
P.S. Your hair is pretty.  
  
After reading the note Dreva felt like pounding the little dweeb. She turned around to look who wrote it.A kid with a little bunch of redish orange hair waved to her with a little happy... menacing face like this ^_^  
  
Dreva took a peice of paper out of her desk and tore a part of it off. She started writing on it:  
  
Keef, If your planning on asking me to be your girl friend I have a message for you: NOT FOR A MILLION YEARS! no NOT EVEN IF YOUR THE LAST BOY ON EARTH!  
  
stay away from me, Dreva  
  
P.S. I DON'T like your rainbow shirt...  
  
Dreva felt a little guilty of what she wrote but the feeling passed away. She handed the note to the girl behind her and said, "Pass it to Keef".  
  
Allie: *giggling* sure.  
  
Dreva sunk in her seat and looked at Dib for 3 seconds until he turned an glared at her. Dreva sat up strait.  
  
Ms. Bitters:.. And in conclusion, to put it simply, World War III will be the day when you experience your pillowy doom!...doom...doom...do-  
  
The bell rang.  
  
Ms. Bitters: oom. GO. NOW!  
  
The children left the room and Dreva fallowed behind hearing sniffling noises. It was Keef no doubt.  
  
Keef: WAAAAAAAHHH!!!!*crying and sniffling*  
  
Dreva(in the croud of children): humph... pittiful human...  
  
Dreva walked to her locker. She had no idea it was 3 lockers beside Zim's.  
  
She put her history books in the locker and remembered she was going to ask Zim something.  
  
Dreva(to Zim):uh... Hi.  
  
Zim: what do you want pitiful Earth Monkey?  
  
Dreva(thinking):Monkey... yeah, right.  
  
Dreva(not thinking): I noticed today that... well, have we met before?  
  
Zim: No...  
  
Dreva: You sure?  
  
Zim: yes.  
  
Dreva: Is your name Zim?  
  
Zim: yes...  
  
Dreva(thinking): I KNEW IT!!!  
  
Dreva(not thinking): You sure we didn't meet at...  
  
Dreva gave a dramatic pause...  
  
Dreva: at Impending Doom 1?  
  
Zim's Eyes sort of showed the shock feeling. You know like when Oprah helped that one person find their lost cousin.  
  
Zim: Ok, now I remember... (mumbles) maid...  
  
"Maid" was the last thing he called her before they were banished to different planets.He was sent to Foodcourtia and she was sent to Planet Salon (Get it? Planet Salon!).  
  
Cinda was standing behind Zim hearing their conversation.  
  
Zim: I thought-  
  
Cinda: Ahem. When are we leaving?  
  
Zim: um... now  
  
Zim left with Cinda.  
  
Dreva(thinking just standing there holding something resembling a book): she resembles him a lot...  
  
Dreva walked passed a girl listening to a CD singing to the words:  
  
I spent half my lifetime watchin time go by And wondering where it went Sometimes I fall asleep at night And lay there feeling spent Contemplating what the next day's gonna hold for me Tossin' turnin' my mind is churnin' thoughts won't let me be . It's gotta be something more than runnin' circles for a livin' It's gotta be something more than just tryin' to survive. There's gotta be something more to Life.  
  
The girl walked away singing the rest of the words. Dreva thought about the song.  
  
Dreva(thinking):hmm... either I'm delusional or does life seem empty? Yeah, I'm delusional.  
  
(outside of school grounds)  
  
FRISK was waiting for her behind that fence. The words to that song echoed in her head:  
  
Gotta be somethin more than runnin circles for a livin Gotta be somethin more than just tryin to survive There's gotta be somethin more to life  
  
Dreva started singing the words thinking: I should get that CD!  
  
FRISK: HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWLL!!!  
  
Dreva: Oh,... yeah...  
  
Dreva grabbed FRISK's leash.  
  
Dreva: I think I've had enough of these... stink people today. Let's stop by Disk Jockey before we go home.  
  
FRISK: RUFF!  
  
THE END (for now!)  
  
Get ready for part two: What's a femme fetale?  
  
Cinda (or Invader Cinda 7) © Cinda 7 2001  
  
Dreva and FRISK (or Allie if you would like to include her) © Tannak (Tak2Taychan) 2001  
  
Zim, Dib, Ms.Bitters, and Keef © Jhonen Vasquez 2001  
  
Song lyrics © Ginny Owens ??? 


End file.
